Sad today

My heart is heavy today.

So much has happened lately that sometimes I wonder if the proverbial rain will ever stop pouring. It’s like being under constant attack from an invisible enemy. You can’t fight, only wait it out and hope for the best outcome.

My husband’s grandmother passed away this morning. She was simply Mawmaw to me, not Mrs. Cagle, or Louise, but grandmother of my heart. I met her when I was seventeen. Jackie and I had been dating about seven months and I was more than a little worried about the huge Thanksgiving dinner with his big family. He’d invited me to go with his mom dad and brother up to Mawmaw’s.We had never been much for family gatherings in my house, so I was nervous. I was meeting his family, not just immediate, but ALL of them. The Cagle’s are legion. Mawmaw welcomed me into her home as if it was a given I’d always be a part of their “clan”. I always felt that from her, love and welcome. She was strong and loved her family fiercely.

My kids are heartbroken, especially Anna. I hated to wake her at six to tell her, but knowing she’d rather know. That’s how she is. L.J. got up on time for once and got ready for school when we would have let him stay home. He’s been through to much already and wanted his friends and the distraction school. Kayla sleeps, because that’s how she deals. Mawmaw tended to them when they were little from time to time and they were close to her.

And I write. My tears become words and I share them with you.